This has been a weekend comparable to a roller coaster ride...one of emotional ups and downs. It started Friday when I found out I didn't get into nursing school. I allowed myself to cry for about 2 minutes then tried to move on. Friday wasn't a good day at work. I was easily frustrated and moody. Saturday was better. I got to go home from work so I hung out with Sarah and Brent. We went to eat then to the tavern to play pool. Sarah and I dominated the table. I was the only sober one in the group and I'm pretty sure I fed off their happiness. I enjoyed going out and having fun to get the stresses off my mind. After that, Sarah and I watched a movie then talked for over an hour about deep and personal things. Sunday wasn't so good. At church, I ended up breaking down crying. I talked with my bishop to get everything off my chest. I think I was allowing all the things that have been stressing me out to come out at once. He gave me a blessing for comfort and it really did help at that time. I was once again frustrated while at work though. Only 3 hours of sleep couldn't have helped either. I tried to calm myself but a couple of residents didn't give me the chance for the calmness to settle. Once I got home I passed out from exhaustion. This weekend was one I would never wish to repeat. Now I am left to decide what I'm going to do in the future with my life. I'd like to move. I may change my major...but not sure to what yet. Nursing was my passion but it has proved to only disappoint. I don't know what else I'd be great at. I don't like feeling so emotionally vulnerable. I like to feel in control, but the Lord sure has shown me He's the one with ALL control. He knows what's best for me so I must pray and rely on Him to lead me through this speed bump. I know my attitude is one of the only things I have control of but sometimes it doesn't feel that way. I need to find happiness in something to get rid of the pessimistic attitude I keep feeling.