The Gifts of Imperfection, part 2

After finishing this book, I feel like it was a very worthwhile read. I learned a lot and will hopefully keep that with me in life. The last few points that I liked are these:

Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on earth. -Mark Twain

Laughter, song, and dance create emotional and spiritual connection; they remind us of the one thing that truly matters when we are searching for comfort, celebration, inspiration, or healing: we are not alone.

Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn't change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.

--I learned that we shouldn't worry so much about what other people think of us. We can't please everyone, but we should be able to please ourselves. We lose a lot of who we are because we are worried other people might think of us as silly, foolish, etc.

In this book, the author covers 10 guideposts on the power of wholehearted living:

#1 Cultivating authenticity: Letting go of what people think

#2 Cultivating self-compassion: Letting go of perfectionism

#3 Cultivating a resilient spirit: Letting go of numbing and powerlessness

#4 Cultivating gratitude and joy: Letting go of scarcity and fear of the dark

#5 Cultivating intuition and trusting faith: Letting go of the need for certainty

#6 Cultivating creativity: Letting go of comparison

#7 Cultivating play and rest: Letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth

#8 Cultivating calm and stillness: Letting go of anxiety as a lifestyle

#9 Cultivating meaningful work: Letting go of self-doubt and "supposed to"

#10 Cultivating laughter, song, and dance: Letting go of being cool and "always in control"

The Gifts of Imperfection

I've been doing a lot of reading lately, but one book that has made a huge impact on my way of thinking is called The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. The cover also says Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. I think as people, we tend to change who we are for different people. This book has a lot of great messages that have really changed my life...and I'm not even done reading it yet. In the next couple of posts I want to go over some lines in her book that have meant something to me. They will all be straight from her book. Some of them I might add my own thoughts.

"How much we know and understand ourselves is critically important, but there is something that is even more essential to living a wholehearted life: loving ourselves."

"Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we'll ever do."

"Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy - the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the power of our light."

--These first three kinda go together, in my mind at least. Loving myself is something I have struggled with since I was a child. Because of things I've had to endure in my past, I didn't think much of myself. I didn't think I deserved to be loved, that I wasn't good enough for love. I now know that I DO deserve love. It's not because of this book, but it helped. We can't always control what happens to us, but we can control how we react to what happens to us. Our story is just that. It shapes us into the person we become, whether that is good or bad.

"Courage has a ripple effect. Every time we choose courage, we make everyone around us a little better and the world a little braver."

"Until we receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with an open heart."

"When we attach judgement to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgement to give help."

"If connection is the energy that surges between people, we have to remember that those surges must travel in both directions."

--I have had a hard time in my life asking for help from people, much less accepting help. I had been working on this before I started reading this book. These statements opened my eyes a little more. I didn't think I judged people for needing help. I'm very open to helping people, I just thought I had to go it alone. I didn't want people have to do anything for me, didn't want to inconvenience anyone. Now I know that people are as willing to help me as I am them. By me denying someone's service, I was denying them blessings. I'm still working on this because I do like to do things on my own, but I'm more willing to ask for help when I really need it instead of drowning in stress.

"A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life." - Christopher K Germer

"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within."

"The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it. It's our fear of the dark that casts our joy into the shadows."

--The first line reminds me of a song I love called Let it Begin. One line in the songs says "mistakes of the past don't define you, they refine you." Just because we have made mistakes doesn't mean we are a bad person. Through the power of the Atonement, we can be made whole again. For me, it has been those mistakes that have opened my eyes and made me into someone better. As for the second line, I think if we keep worrying about darkness, we don't have enough time to enjoy happiness. We have to take life as it comes, make the best of it.

Time Flies

This year seems to have gone quickly. This has definitely been a year of wake up calls, realizations, lessons, making new friends, and SO much more. This will be a year that will never be forgotten. I started this year out on the wrong foot, and now I'm just trying to find my footing. I have such a testimony of the atonement now. I am so grateful the Lord loved us so much that He would die for us. He made the greatest sacrifice so we could be forgiven for all of our mistakes. Unlike some people, I guess I learn best the hard way. I used to think that making mistakes was a bad thing. Now I know that it's the way we learn, the way we grow. I remember earlier this year I experienced what I thought was the worst day of my life. Looking back, that day has become such a blessing and a miracle. The Lord trusted me with a beautiful life to bless the lives of two people who love him beyond measure. I am so grateful for second chances. I got a second chance emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Now I have a chance to do something with my life...and I will! Sometimes we have to struggle during the climb before we reach the top that is full of beauty.

We are all given roadblocks that we must find our way around. My timing has never been great...but the Lord's timing is impeccable. I know that He knows us personally. He sees our struggles and believes in us when even we give up on ourselves. He knows what we are capable of even if we can't see it for years to come. I like to think that the Lord puts people in our path for a reason, whether it's long-term or just for a short while. I have been blessed with great friends that are so understanding and kind.

Music is a HUGE part of my life. Music can speak to me better than people can sometimes. Last week I thought about songs that have helped me get through tough times. I'll list a few of them, but one in particular meant a lot to me. It's called Let it Begin. One line in that song is "mistakes of the past don't define you, they refine you". This is so true. I believe I was conditioned to think that you can't work past your mistakes, but you can! It's not about the mistake, it's about what you do with that mistake to improve your life.

One Step at a Time - Jordin Sparks

Keep Your Head Up - Andy Grammer

Steer - Missy Higgins

Brand New Day - Joshua Radin

Somewhere Over the Rainbow - IZ

Just a Ride - Jem

Stand - Rascal Flatts

Incomplete - Alanis Morissette

Let it Begin - Julie Yardley

Beautiful Heartbreak - Hilary Weeks

http://youtu.be/zc-4GzdVsi4